The Devil, Probably | 也許是魔鬼
The Devil, Probably
ink on wall
Solo exhibition at Observation Society, Guangzhou, China
curated by Anthony Yung
Exhibition period: 19 December 2015 - 31 January 2016
Devils and demons do not exist only in myth. They live in people’s minds. The strongest devil that lives in my mind is fear.
This devil has replaced me as the master of all my everyday actions. I have grown up with it and have become used to living with it so much. When I don’t feel it, I lose control of my life. It is another me, another entity that shares my body with me. I cannot foresee or explain when and why it attacks me. I fear when I work or when I lose my work. I fear when I travel, read and sleep. I fear when I get ill and I get ill because of the fear. I fear when evening comes and when I imagine demons. I fear when situations change and I fear when life is too steady. I fear when I meditate. I fear when I have to do an exhibition and I fear when there is no exhibition to work on. I fear when I stay home. I fear when I create…
Fear makes me want to escape. Fear ‘protects’ me, so it stops me from reaching my goals. I recently read this in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle: “No-mind is a consciousness without thought. Only in that way is it possible to think creatively, because only in that way does thought have any real power.” Being twisted around by fear and other negativities, I cannot reach this state of ‘no-mind’. It hinders my creativity, and I feel doubts and stress about my own ability to carry on creating works. If artistic creativity is a path of growing, then to make an exhibition means to face all the devils in one’s own mind.
這隻妖怪取代了我，成為我日常行事的主機。從小到大，我太習慣與它相處，沒有了它，彷彿整個人都不知該如何運作，它是世上的另一個我，一同分享我的身體。它侵襲和發作的情況無法估計，亦不可理喻。我會在工作時恐慌，失業時恐慌，旅遊前恐慌， 閱讀時恐慌，睡覺前恐慌，有疾病時恐慌，因恐慌而有疾病，黃昏時恐慌，想像鬼怪時恐慌，情況轉變時恐慌，生活安穩時恐慌，冥想時恐慌，有展覽做時恐慌，無展覽做時恐慌，待在家中時恐慌，創作時恐慌 ……